Dream A Little Dream Of Me - The Mamas and the Papas

4.12.20

I don't usually remember my dreams.

I do remember my nightmares, though. I have this recurring one that I'm stuck and I scream for help, but no noise comes out. I wake up an anxious mess with a knotted feeling that doesn't leave me for days.

But the last few nights, I've been dreaming of Will.

I dreamt we took him and his best friend to Wrestlemania in Orlando for his birthday - he was very excited about the adjoining hotel rooms and got very shy when he met my best friend’s daughter.

I dreamt we were at the hospital, bored and waiting for him to arrive.

I dreamt that we went white water rafting in Moab and that he wore his dad's wetsuit which was way too big for him.

These dreams are sweet and I feel like I'm learning about my son before I've even met him which is pretty great.

Hey Will - it's Mom.

We photographed your birth announcement today - Daddy taped my phone to the patio table and we bribed your brother and sister with lots of treats. It worked like a charm.

Well, third time’s a charm.

The first couple of times? Eh, not so much.

Roxy: “Mom, you dropped a treat. Let me just get that for you.” Indiana: “Lizard? Chewchie? Coconut? Literally anything that isn’t sitting still for five seconds?” — Roxy: “Mom, you dropped a treat. Let me just get that for you.”
Indiana: “Lizard? Chewchie? Coconut? Literally anything that isn’t sitting still for five seconds?”

Buddy, I'm going to take so many pictures and so many home movies of you. I'm going to try and capture as many moments as I can because I know how quickly life moves.

We're gonna be there for all of your moments - the big ones and the quiet ones. The ones filled with mad, dizzy and electrifying joy and the ones that suck beyond the telling of it - hopefully, the latter are few and far between.

When you're a little older, we'll watch Friday Night Lights together. It's this amazing show about high school football in Texas but more than that - it's about heart and strength of character - two things I'm sure you'll possess in no short supply.

I leave you with some advice from Coach Eric Taylor:

“Listen to me. I said you need to strive to be better than everyone else. I didn’t say you needed to be better than everyone else. But you gotta try. That’s what character is. It’s in the trying.”

Keep trying, keep striving, stay hungry, stay free and do the best you can (that last line from Gaslight Anthem; we'll listen to them a lot too).