Keep Me Company: Risotto My Kid Needs To Eat A Damn Vegetable

Why yes. He IS rocking the hell out of a Diana Ross t-shirt.

On Sunday, my son had half a red velvet donut (Jupiter Donut Company - the best donuts in Palm Beach County) and a sprinkles cookie from Publix for breakfast.

Since his favorite foods are fruit, roast chicken and rice - I wasn’t super worried about it but dude definitely needed to eat some damn vegetables for lunch.

Sunday afternoons are a perfect time to make risotto - it’s a slow, calm activity that requires a little chopping, a little pouring and a lot of stirring. Will helped me out for that last bit and he had a blast.

So, that being said:

Hi! I’m your internet best friend.

I wish we could hang out in the kitchen and you could drink wine and keep me company while I cook.

But since we can’t - here’s the recipe.

Ingredients

2 1/2 cups of Arborio Rice. Yes, it has to be Arborio. I’m ride or die for Basmati but in this recipe? It just doesn’t work
1 Yellow Onion (diced)
4 Garlic Cloves (finely chopped)
4 tablespoons for Better Than Bouillon dissolved in 4 cups of water/4 cups of stock
4 cups vegetables - I used corn, peas, broccoli and carrots because that’s what I had but use whatever the hell’s in your freezer
1 cup baby spinach but you can use kale or whatever leafy bullshit you have laying around.
3 tablespoons of butter
4oz shredded parmesan cheese. I used the pre-shredded four cheese blend because Publix had a BOGO happening
2 1/2 cups white wine - 1 1/2 cups for you and 1 cup for the risotto
Black pepper to taste - use a lot. Like, every time you add stock, crack some black pepper in there.
Onion powder to taste
Thyme to taste

Instructions

In a medium size saucepan, bring four cups of water to a boil and add four tablespoons of Better than Bouillon.

This stuff is the kitchen GOAT and it basically makes all your food taste better.

It is saltier than me after Netflix cancelled Santa Clarita Diet, though, so just an FYI.

Stir and lower temperature to whatever your stove’s equivalent of 2 is and hey, why isn’t Tim Olyphant a way bigger star? Also, did you know that he’s related to the Vanderbilts?

In another saucepan, melt butter and sauté onions. This is gonna take about ten minutes so while you’re waiting, pour yourself a glass of wine and put on Abbott Elementary. It’s super wholesome and you’ll love it. You’ve still got my Hulu password, right?

Onions looking translucent? Cool. Add some thyme. Holy shit, dude. Onions and thyme are so magical together. Let’s get French Onion Soup the next time we hang out.

Add the garlic and stir.

Now would be a good time to deglaze the pan, so toss about half a cup of wine into the pan and scrape up all of that delicious brown stuff on the bottom of the pan. That’s called fond and it’s where the magic lives. If it was an actual place, it would be that champagne bar book store in Asheville that we love.

After about five minutes, add the rice and cook for about three minutes or so, stirring frequently until it smells nutty and delicious.

If I can offer you one piece of advice, it’s slather your face with Argan oil every night before bed. If I can offer you another, it’s that you should always toast your rice. Trust me - it always tastes better.

Add a ladleful of warm stock into the rice and stir until liquid is almost absorbed. It should look like this.

Now, just keep on adding ladle after ladle of stock until it’s all absorbed.

Season with onion powder, pepper and thyme.

Take this moment to relax. I feel like we’ve all been super stressed out lately. Deep yoga breaths, ladlefuls of stock, stirring and maybe top off your wine a little.

Halfway through this process when the stock and rice is all bubbly, throw about half of the cheese into the pot and stir.

Hey, are you listening to anything while you’re cooking? I’ve been listening to a lot of Madonna’s Immaculate Collection lately and dude, that album holds the fuck up. Also, 90s slow jams. Swear to God, Babyface was on a one-man mission to get everyone with a uterus pregnant. Also - goddamn, LL Cool J. Just goddamn. Walking around singing shit like Hey Lover. C’mon, my dude. I am a human woman. I can only handle so much.

What were we talking about? Risotto? What? Yeah, ok. Sure.

Let’s add some vegetables to this thing because that was kinda the whole point of this exercise, right?

I added corn, broccoli, carrots and peas to mine because that’s what I had in my freezer but you could add whatever you wanted/whatever your kids will actually eat.

Season with black pepper, thyme and more onion powder. Why do I keep adding onion powder to a dish that already has onion in it? Because I read somewhere that onion powder makes dishes taste homier and it’s true. It’s a gold star allium.

Literally, why are you friends with someone who says shit like, “Gold Star Allium”? Whatever - I’m just grateful for it.

Oh, I also added some baby spinach because hashtag health and shit.

Now, stir it up, little darling.

Pour the remaining 1/2 cup of wine in there, season with more thyme and black pepper and the remaining bit of cheese and stir for like, three minutes or so until it all comes together. Trust me, it will.

I feel like there’s a bigger life lesson to be had here.

Serve with crushed chili flake (because hi, have we met?), pour yourself another glass of wine (because hi, see above) and devour.

But before you do, take a picture and text it to your best friend.

Love you, miss you, mean it! Cheers!