Nonpareils - 11
ALL the things are happening and yet, it’s been pretty quiet.
What do I mean by that? I mean, Miami is the Sports Capital of the Universe (so much more on that below - this is basically the Miami Sports Edition), Donald Trump is being indicted and both the Iron Sheik (who I loved so much. Rest in power, Bubba) and Pat Robertson died.
BIG WEEK Y’ALL.
Anthony Bourdain
“Once you’ve been to Cambodia, you’ll never stop wanting to beat Henry Kissinger to death with your bare hands. You will never again be able to open a newspaper and read about that treacherous, prevaricating, murderous scumbag sitting down for a nice chat with Charlie Rose or attending some black-tie affair for a new glossy magazine without choking. Witness what Henry did in Cambodia – the fruits of his genius for statesmanship – and you will never understand why he’s not sitting in the dock at The Hague next to Milošević.”
Personally, my kid made it through a week of school drop-off without crying, I’m into espresso now and this weekend, I’m going to a fruit nursery to buy a passion fruit plant.
So, LOTS happening on a macro scale and not a lot happening on a micro scale.
Either way, here’s a round-up of what I’ve been reading, watching, listening to, eating and drinking lately.
I hope you like this stuff as much as I do.
Read:
Spare by Harry, Duke of Sussex
In light of Prince Harry suing the Mirror Group Newspapers (info on the court case here), I wanted to read his memoir. I am by no means a Royalist and think the monarchy is antiquated and should be abolished but I also think that Harry has gone through some shit in his life and seems like a generally decent guy. Also, I’m a fan of anyone using his platform to stick it Piers Morgan.
Counter Intelligence: Where To Eat in the Real Los Angeles by Jonathan Gold
For a very long time, my dream was to live in Los Angeles. I don’t necessarily know if that’s still my dream but I do know that I’d probably be a pretty happy person if I could spend a year living in Eagle Rock and eating at every place listed in this book.
The older I get, the more I love and appreciate guys like Gold and John T. Edge. If I could do it over, I would follow their career paths.
The Unique Contract That Convinced Lionel Messi To Join MLS (Huddle Up Substack)
Lionel Messi is coming to play for Inter-Miami.
This is huge. The U.S. has been weirdly slow to get on board with soccer (but that’s rapidly changing) but for the rest of the world - this is seismic news.
Messi is less an athlete and more a Golden God. Seven-time winner of the Ballon d’Or, highest goal scorer in La Liga, most hat tricks in La Liga, lead Argentina to their 2022 World Cup victory and like, hundreds of other accolades.
He was offered a three-year deal $1.6 billion (that’s Carl Sagan with a B billion) by the Saudi League and he turned it down to play for a club at the bottom of the Eastern Conference in the MLS:
Why?
Well, the substack piece does a great job of explaining that (especially the Designated Player Rule). In short - as everything does, it comes out to a bananas amount of money.
But I like to believe it’s also the fact that Miami is fucking awesome. It’s the capital of South America and what better place for an Argentinian football god to reign?
Watch:
Succession: Just started it as the rest of the universe has wrapped it up. Look, I have a toddler. If I get an hour to myself every day, it’s a damn miracle. Anyway, I’m three episodes in and obsessed with people who seem to be the absolute worst ever.
I mean, their names are CON and SHIV. It’s like naming a law firm Dewey, Cheathem and Howe.
Dan Marino Banging The Drum at Game 3 of the Stanley Cup Finals.
Dolphins Coach Mike McD hyping up the crowd before Game 3 of the Heat-Celtics Eastern Conference Finals.
Coach McD hyping up the crowd before Game 4 of the Panthers-Hurricanes Eastern Conference Finals
Tua hyping up the crowd at Game 3 of the Panthers-Knights Stanley Cup Final
A couple of years ago, I went to New Orleans and was amazed by just how black and gold the city was. How much love the Saints got and how Drew Brees was essentially revered in the Crescent City.
It made me wistful as fuck. Why couldn’t we have that? Cities (the Miami Metropolitan Area covers the three largest counties in the state - Miami-Dade, Broward and Palm Beach) awash in teal and orange or black, red, yellow and white hot. Cities proud of their teams and sports culture.
For the first time in my life, Coach McD makes me feel like we can have that and we can be that.
And knowing I’m raising my son in this culture makes it that much better.
Listen:
Behind The Bastards: Vince McMahon
The only other person that has a six-part series on what a bastard they are is Henry Kissinger - who, we established earlier - is a fucking monster.
Vince McMahon is a garbage person and this podcast does an excellent job in highlighting the numerous ways this is true.
It’s Easy To Remember - John Coltrane
I’ve been listening to this a lot while writing. It feels…right? I don’t know. It just makes me feel calm, centered and capable which is a lovely feeling because I don’t get too much of that lately.
A bit older but goddamn, such a good summer song. It feels like air conditioning blasting and open windows, cold cold water, effervescent and tart with lemon and hands pressed against shimmying hips.
I’ve been calling Willow “Pepas” because of the way he pronounces the word “peppers” - “Mommy, you like spicy pepas?”
Between the Heat, the Panthers and the fact that Will thinks this song is about him, it makes sense that this track has been on repeat in our life lately.
Eat/Drink:
Crispy Cauliflower
Excuse the bobo quality photograph but I’m actually really proud of this.
I made crispy cauliflower for Taco Night and they turned out great! The recipe is super easy too. I just mixed up some rice flour and cornstarch with a can of Yuengling and added turmeric, salt, pepper, cumin powder, chili powder, onion powder, garlic powder, smoked paprika and some onion-ginger-jalapeno paste.
Batter the cauliflower, sprinkle with panko and bake at 415 for like, 40 minutes, turning over at around the 20 minute mark.
They were crunchy, pretty healthy, easy to make and tasted great with pretty much every hot sauce ever.
No matter what you order at Sofra, it’s going to be good. The falafel is light and crispy, the produce is super fresh and flavorful, the cacik is thick and super garlicky and my God, if you order nothing else - please order the lentil soup. It’s a hug in a bowl - warm, nourishing and delicious.
Oh and if they have the pistachio mousse cake when you go? Order every goddamn piece in the joint. It is the world’s most perfect dessert.
Happy Hour at Batch is pretty fantastic. It runs Monday through Friday between 4:00-7:00 PM throughout the whole restaurant and in addition to featuring great little bar snacks like $1 wings, $2 oysters and $6 bacon tater tots (highly recommended), every cocktail under $13 is only $5.
The gin pink lemonade is a little on the sweeter side but it’s good. If you like your cocktails less candied, check out the G&T with housemade tonic and hibiscus-grapefruit bitters. It’s legit.
A new BBQ joint which opened directly across the street from Howley’s on Dixie, Austin Republic has no indoor seating, a circuitous route to the restroom and some of the best food ever.
Straight up, the best macaroni and cheese in Palm Beach County and strong, icy margaritas which are so damn welcome after sweating your ass off in the sun.
I’m a vegetarian and I loved it. Just imagine how much you’ll like it if you get down with smoked brisket or pulled pork.
Pav Bhaji
My sister is having a baby and I am beyond excited to be a masi. So, we headed to Gainesville to visit and cook.
One of her favorite foods is Pav Bhaji which is a really simple street food - vegetable curry served on buttered rolls (pav = pão due to the Portuguese influence in India) and since I am on a quest to learn how to make Indian Street food, I was super excited to learn at the hands of the best cook I know - my mom.
Initially, I thought I didn’t care for this dish but that’s because I am God’s perfect idiot. I have no idea why I thought I didn’t like it - it was super flavorful and spicy. The veggies cook down with garlic and onions and everything just tasted so lush due to all of the butter in the dish.
Mom doesn’t believe in recipes so I couldn’t tell you how to make this exact dish, but here’s a close one from my favorite chef who isn’t related to me, Sanjana Modha - Melt in the Mouth Pav Bhaji.
Although, she might be related to me. We have a similar background and I’ve got a bunch of Modhas in my family.
There are few things in this life more perfect than chips, salsa, margaritas and queso fundido. El Diablo is crushing it on this front - they have the spiciest habanero salsa and I mean, look at that molten cheese pull. It is a thing of beauty and joy forever.
Misc.
Coffee Runs with the Kid
“Mama, we go on a coffee run?”
This is my new favorite tradition with Willow. Either before school or after, we head out and grab a treat together.
At Wawa, Will typically grabs an apple juice and gets to push the buttons on the touch-screen for whatever coffee I get.
At Havana, it’s cafecitos and mango juice which Willow quickly discovered is so much better than orange juice (yeah, my dude - you’re half-Indian. This makes sense on like, a genetic level).
And at Pumphouse Pouratorium, it’s espresso and tonic and huge, pillowy chocolate-chip cookies.
I really love hanging out with my kid and can’t wait to explore more of this world with him.
Miami Sports Twitter
I spoke about Messi bringing his talents to South Beach Commercial Blvd in Broward County earlier but that’s not the only big thing happening. Both the Heat and the Panthers are in the finals of their respective sports.
Anyone who knows me knows I love South Florida. I’ve lived in a few different places and nowhere has ever felt like home the way it does here.
I moved back when I turned 30 - on the verge of getting divorced and broke.
Coming back home was a good start but I was completely numb. Like, my body was less flesh and bone and more that aural ringing sound following a bomb blast.
Feeling like that sucked because I knew that wasn’t who I am.
I’m funny. I’m confident, charming and clever.
I don’t know how I initially found it, but I came across some really excellent writing which in turn, lead me to discover Miami Sports Twitter - a ragtag, unaffiliated collective of smart, passionate, uproariously funny and diverse people with a genuine love of our teams and one another.
Seeing this helped me remember myself. It helped me come back home in a greater sense.
I wasn’t this desolate husk of a person.
I’m from South Florida - we’re funny, charming and passionate. We talk shit, love hard and have you seen us? We’re goddamn gorgeous.
Miami Sports Twitter helped bring about the sunrise after the longest, darkest night and for that, I will forever be grateful and support not only our athletes but all those who love them.
Drinks at Flanigans on me and as ever, fuck the Jets. Especially now that that putz Aaron Rodgers plays for them.
That being said, here’s my new favorite thing.