Life starts all over again when it gets crisp in the fall.
It is currently 86 degrees but it feels like 97 degrees and the humidity is at 72%
No disrespect to my boy Fitz but the only crisp things happening in my life right now are a frosty cold Aha water (peach + honey) and some seriously tasty salsa chips from Aldi.
But regardless - it is the most wonderful time of the year.
Pumpkin Spice Season. Apple Cider Season. Spooky Season. Caramel season. Boots and Sweater Season. Soup Season.
It’s fall, y’all and that means we celebrate the world being a little cozier and a little closer to the best of all holidays - Thanksgiving (which admittedly has some problematic roots so I encourage you to give -if able - to the National Indigenous Women’s Resource Center)
The nights get a little longer, the air gets a little cooler and the world seems to be a little more magical.
I do not practice Wicca (or anything, really….unless you count thinking of Springsteen shows as going to church) but I have always been fascinated by witches and witchcraft.
Growing up, my favorite book series was The Worst Witch by Jill Murphy and my wardrobe consists of a fair amount of black clothing…but that might be more out of laziness than anything else.
The older I get, the more I relate to witches. History tells us that a woman who had knowledge or an opinion or merely existed….was a witch and should be punished. That kind of bullshit is still happening today and we’re not going let the bastards grind us down.
So this fall, we’re celebrating women and girls - the granddaughters of the witches they couldn’t burn. Welcome to the Season of the Witch. Here’s some cool shit we can do:
Light candles that smell like cinnamon, nutmeg, apples, cedar smoke and burning sugar. Make your home smell cozy and feel safe.
Donate to Planned Parenthood in honor of Greg Abbott - a man who should get diarrhea in public every goddamn day of his life.
Raise feminist children. Give them affection and encouragement. Model respect and kindness but also have them understand that in the car, driver picks the music and they’re gonna put some respect on Prince’s name.
Make a truly excellent cheese plate with bourbon-honey baked Brie, cinnamon-dusted pecans, honeycrisp apples, really good seedy bread and a big old thwack of Cambozola.
Sit by the water. Close your eyes. Breathe deeply. Listen to the sound of your own heartbeat. Forgive your ex…or, hope they get eaten by a bear. I don’t know your ex; they could be a real asshole who deserves to be an amuse-bouché for a Grizzly.
Join the Witches Vs Patriarchy subreddit.
Wear a darker, matte lip the color of blushing pomegranates, twinkling rubies or just bitten berries. Colourpop makes some excellent and affordable options. Yes, I know we’re all wearing masks but you’ll know it’s there and that’s what makes it powerful and magical.
Support women-owned businesses like Migdalia who makes the comfiest tanks and tees I’ve ever worn, A Little Baked Bakery - their chocolate chip cookies feel as good as a hug - Lil’ Libros which have the cutest bilingual books and Modi Toys which make the most adorable Ganesh and Hanuman plush toys.
Venmo $10 to a woman you love. Tell her that her next drink is on you. Tell her you love her.
Eat Sweetzel’s Spiced Wafers dipped in warm apple cider. Add cinnamon and freshly grated nutmeg.
Adopt a black cat. Black cats have a difficult time getting adopted in shelters which is insane because they are beautiful, majestic animals who look like miniature panthers and deserve all the love and head scratchies.
This is Wednesday Addams. She started showing up in our yard a few months ago. While we can’t bring her into our home (a toddler, a senior cat, a senior dog and a 100lbs dog with a penchant for chasing the cat despite knowing the cat will fuck his day up), we make sure she’s fed when she comes by and we have a shelter for her on our porch so she has a safe place to stay.
Watch Practical Magic and make Midnight Margaritas. Or if you’re me and can’t stay up until midnight anymore, make 5:08pm margaritas.
Make soup like you’re making a magic potion. Cook down onions and garlic with butter and red wine. Add stock, tomatoes and lots of thyme, parsley and basil. Blend it all up, pour in a little cream and lots of freshly cracked black pepper. Serve with grilled cheese sandwiches and champagne.
Listen to Granddaughters of the Witches They Couldn't Burn - a Spotify playlist I made featuring Tori, Stevie, Bey, Amy, Nina, Louise, Aretha and other women who inspire me.
Watch The Craft. Realize that Nancy wasn’t right but she wasn’t exactly wrong either.
Make Hard Cider Soft Pretzels with Creamy Honey Mustard Dip. Don’t worry if you can’t form the pretzels, just make little nugs instead. Share them with someone you love. Dogs really love soft pretzels. I’m just saying….
Stay hydrated, get vaccinated if you haven’t already done so, wear sunscreen, eat hot sauce and try to be kind to yourself because it’s a real goddamn hash out there and you deserve tenderness, warmth, support and love.
And finally, smooch your dog like, a jajillion times because dogs are as close to magic as humanity is ever gonna get.
Happy Fall, y’all!
