Ten Months

Dear Will:

One thing you will quickly learn about your mom is that I have the best sense of humor ever.

Like, a sterling taste in comedy.

Everything from Murphy and Carlin to the golden era of The Simpsons to Mulaney to Mel Brooks to the jackasses of Jackass.

I know funny, I appreciate it and you, my friend, are funny. You make me laugh so hard, buddy and you are so proud of yourself when you do. I hope that we will continue to find the joy together for years to come.

Bud, this month has been huge for us.

You learned a very important lesson this month. Chris Isaak was right - this world will only break your heart.

And usually, that heartbreak comes in the form of the English National Team and penalty shoot outs.

While watching this team’s meteoric rise, Mommy learned an important lesson too. Mommy learned that you hate joy and celebration.

This is us at Flanigans when we beat Denmark.

The cheers, the clapping, the chanting of, “It’s Coming Home!” - you hate all of this. And Baby Ducks, this was prescient behavior because your face mirrors Mommy’s during the Euro final when it came down to goddamn penalties and Italy beat us.

This is a good life lesson. Sometimes, shit just comes down to penalties and it’s brutally unfair and there ain’t a damn thing you can do about it but soldier on and get ‘em next time.

Other stuff going on:

You eat everything. Every damn thing. I fed you vegetable paneer pulao and you gobbled it up even though it was spicy. You love fresh fruit and you went crazy for huevos rancheros. There is no doubt that you are my child and I really hope you keep an adventurous palate throughout your life.

I cleaned up your closet and put away all of the clothes that don’t fit anymore. This made me cry because I cannot believe how fast you’re growing up. You used to be my teeny little smush and now, you’re practically a grown man with your little shorts and your little teethies coming in.

We celebrated your first July 4 and unsurprisingly, you were scared of the fireworks. Loved the lights, hated the boom. We’ll work on this one. July 4 is an Elder family tradition and I know Daddy is looking forward to the day when he can build boards with you.

I got you a new toy - DJ Roomba Kitty. You fucking hate it and have tried to murder it at every turn. I’m actually impressed by your vehement opposition to this toy. It tries to make cleaning fun and we all know that’s just a bunch of crap.

You learned that Indiana couldn’t pick you up at the same time Indiana learned he couldn’t pick you up. Heartbreak ensued for the both of you.

Oh! And most important of all - you stood up! By yourself! For like ten seconds! You were a wee bit wobbly but still! You stood up unassisted! We celebrated this milestone with banana churro milkshakes which is how we should celebrate everything from here on out. I’ll work on that for you.

Every month, you amaze me a little more and every month, I am so grateful that I get to be your mom. I can’t wait to see what the future holds.

Love you with all the madness in my soul, Duckling.

Mama xx